How the heck did we end up HERE?
by Obscura Wilde
Summary: [Rated for language] This story is made by two very bored friends who decided to have random ideas, plots and weird thoughts together... Please RR!
1. Meeting Fro Fro and Legolasiel

Disclaimer: we obviously don' t own them. SO SUE US! Ü Oh and we also do not own the line 'ei what's up doc?' and other things you recognize but Nienna owns the nicknames and insults and we both own the randomness  
  
Nienna: We are obviously TwO people from the explanation of the disclaimer  
  
Uruviel: Elôw!  
  
Nienna: I'm the official spokesperson and RuVie's the official typewriter person whatever...  
  
Uruviel: So on with our story!  
  
Nienna: We are now off to huggle the hobbits and an elf!!  
  
Uruviel: beware this contains random thoughts! Ü  
  
Nienna: Just to tell you Jessie's the smart, annoying, hyper and weird one!!  
  
Uruviel: And Nadi's the smart, hyper and cursing one plus she has the common sense! ========  
  
How the freakin' hell did we end up HERE?!  
  
Chapter 1: Meeting Fro Fro and Legolasiel  
  
Nadine and Jessie were playing in Jessie's room. "where the fuck is my fucking coat?" she cursed. "and to think you were the mature one..." Jessie muttered under her breath. "what the fuck did you say?" Nadi asked "Nothing..." Jessie replied then Nadi turned around "It's just that you keep saying the fuck word..." Jessie muttered to herself "that I heard...I'm just into it today...it's better than last week I kept saying—"Nadi told her but Jessie cut her off "Yes, Yes I know and I don't wanna bring back the memory!" Jessie replied, then a small moth [thingy] landed in Jessie's hand. "hello little moth thingy!" Jessie said "Reminds me of the fucking buggy game..." Nadi told her "Yeah me too!" Jessie replied "This is buggy! Buggy say hi! Buggy go fly! Clap for buggy! Oops buggy died..." they chanted then Jessie realized she squished the bug "You fucking idiot..." Nadi told her then the wall started to crack and a big eagle appeared.  
  
"what the...?" the two asked each other. After seconds of staring blankly into space Jessie perked up "HI GWAHIR!" she screamed that Nadi swore the neighbors were now looking at the humongous eagle that made a LARGE hole in the wall.  
  
Then Jessie started climbing 'Gwahir' "What the fuck are you trying to do?" Nadi asked "Ride Gwahir then ride into space then get faster than the speed of sound, slowness and light and end up in the dimension of –"Nadi could tell she was going to start a LONG talk." Ya whatever...the speed of slowness?" she asked "It's possible! I'm more smarter than you but you have the common sense so believe me if I say speed of slowness, and yes I may be crazy but I sure am smart!" Jessie stated, "Uh huh..." Nadi muttered then started to climb 'Gwahir' then Jessie started to screech stuff to 'Gwahir' "What the fuck are you doing now?" Nadi asked, "I learned how to speak 'Eagle'" she told her. "Riiight..." Nadi said  
  
Soon Jessie stopped screeching and Nadi noticed the neighbors either clutching their ears or passing out earplugs the she told them "YOU'LL GET USED TO IT!" then 'Gwahir' started to flap his wings then fly "You know what it's unusual for me to like flying but afraid of heights!" Jessie told Nadi "Believe me you are very, very unusual!" Nadi told Jessie without actually saying a curse!  
  
When they reached the stratosphere Jessie just screamed randomly "I can see Korea from here!" "Why the hell Korea?" Nadi asked "I'm a random person and Korea is very random in my case..." she told Nadi then her ears popped then she started doing the stupid maneuver she was taught in scuba diving then soon 'Gwahir' went faster until they were faster than the speed of sound, slowness and [finally] the speed of light then they entered a shiny purple thingy. "ohh...my favorite color" Nadi said "oh... that's your favorite color?" Jessie asked "Jessie we have been friends since...since grade 1 it was my favorite color ever since, 'I think I'm gonna hurl." Jessie said. Nadi glared at her "ehehehe...just joking! ü" Jessie replied then inside the purple shiny glittery [now it was] there were flying pigs, "YEAH! I KNEW THERE WERE FLYING PIGS!" Jessie screamed then there was a walking, talking gingerbread man, "that is soooo Shrek1 and 2!" Nadi screamed[at no one in particular] then the room started to become filled with random things including cows that walk on two legs and were color pink with blue and purple spots and a dog that had a bath robe that drank tea and had a British accent and a cat that had blonde hair with highlights and acted as a supermodel. Then 'Gwahir' stopped abruptly which sent them flying into a piece of paper [in Jessie's case] then into 2 chairs facing a Frenchman. "Makeovers!" the French guy squealed. Then he started working on them then when they both faced the mirror Jessie didn't have the brown eyes instead they were green and her hair was now long, very wavy but they were still brown with brown highlights instead of what used to be shoulder length and Nadi had blue eyes instead of brown and long blonde hair instead of long brown hair "AGH! WE LOOK LIKE FUCKING MARY SUES!"[no offense to Mary Sue writers especially to Nadi] they both screamed and Jessie amazingly said a bad word... then the chairs that they were sitting on made them fall somewhere else and while they fell their clothes floating and they fell through it then they were wearing it "Cool... breeches..." Jessie told herself then they fell down then landed on the ground but amazingly it didn't hurt but they did pass out though...  
  
=back to the French guy=  
  
The French guy realizes the chair that Jessie was sitting in was the chair Nadi was supposed to sit in and Nadi sat on Jessie's chair then he thinks for a second and scratches his head... "What the hell..." he says and walks away  
  
=Nadi's POV=  
  
Nadi started to stir then she woke up. "What the...?" she muttered as she sat up. "Excuse me..." she looked all around. "Down here" she looked down to see a small boy she suddenly realized that she was in Middle-Earth, judging by the curly hair, hairy feet... "Can you help me? I'm kinda lost..."Nadi said "Hello, I'm Frodo Baggins of the Shire. If you want to know, you are in the Shire or the Old Forest" he said "What are you doing in the Old Forest then? Aren't the hobbits afraid of the forest?" Nadi asked "No actually I was dared to go here by my two cousins and get a twig from a tree with only one leaf and a nest and there's one over there but I can't quite reach it..." he told her and Nadi looked up and saw the twig "can you help me?" Frodo asked "Sure" she answered and she reached over to the branch. In a matter of seconds she got what Frodo needed "Thanks! you sure are tall lady--" he said. "...Uruviel..." she said with the first name that got into her mind. She didn't feel safe sharing personal info with strangers. "Lady Uruviel" Frodo said then a minute of silence "Do you want to meet my cousins and my gardener?" he asked, Nadi started to giggle then she said "OK" then they made their way out of the forest  
  
=Jessie's POV=  
  
Jessie woke up to find herself lying down in the front of a really big spider then she started talking in Spider? Then the spider hissed then Jessie hissed back then she got a stick then started whacking the spider then soon the spider got scared when she poked one of it's eyes then it ran away[crawled away, crying mommy in Spider...] "So this is how Mirkwood looks like" Jessie told herself because she knew Mirkwood had very big spiders then a group of elves came then the leader asked the others "Mammen ha? (Where is it?)" "ha noro (It ran)" Jessie told them "Pedich I lam edhellen? (Do you speak elvish)" he asked "If I didn't I wouldn't understand you then!" Jessie told them "Telich (Come)" he told Jessie "Wait" Jessie stopped him "Iston le? (Do I know you?)" she asked him then he replied "Law (No)" then they went out of the forest into a big, big palace that Jessie had no idea that Mirkwood looked like that  
  
=Nadi's POV=  
  
Frodo [finally] finished introducing her to his cousins and gardener. "did you know, miss Uruviel, that you are an elf?" Sam asked. "Apparently...YES" Nadi said, really pissed off from all of their questions. 'thank god that I'm an LoTr fan...' she thought then Sam asked "Can you speak elvish?" "Ya! Speak elvish!" Pippin gestured. "uh...no..." Nadi stammered. They all gasped. "Now I've seen everything! What next? A hobbit speaking elvish?" Merry asked [Nienna looks at readers and arches her eyebrow smirking] [Uruviel glares at Nienna] "Hey can we go to Bag End?" Nadi asked "Of course..." Frodo said then Nadi smirked "not" Nadi scowled "It would take a day to get there, I'm living here at Crick Hollow!" Frodo said "Oh... What year is it?" Nadi asked "3018" Frodo replied 'Oh... so we're going to leave for Bree soon...' Nadi thought then later they went to the Green Dragon and Merry and Pippin were singing at the top of their lungs. Nadi accidentally ,hit her head when she was going to get more and ,more drunk. "I see dancing hobbits around me...hey fro fro...ei what's up doc?" she muttered. 'then she went out then...  
  
=Jessie's POV=  
  
Jessie stole a pony from the stables and that pony happened to be Legolasiel's [she called him a lot of names when they got there ex. Lego, Legoboy, Legolasiel, Leggy, Leggyboy, Leggy Peggy, Greenleaf Greenleaf, Legolas Legolas, stupid Greenleaf, Happy Person (Gay Person) and Leggings and her favorite insult to him was "Why do you wear leggings, Leggings?] as Legolasiel's pony trotted away...and went towards Bree  
  
=Nadi's POV=  
  
Nadi was asked to sing a song and she sang the first thing that came into her head "We're black sheep and really black eggs! Drink up me 'earties yo ho! Yo ho! Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!" she sang then soon the hobbits started singing the song over and over again then soon it was time to go "Good night lads" Rosie told Sam and Frodo as they went out then Nadi heard from behind "Good night oh sweet maiden of the golden ale" and she rolled her eyes and kept walking.  
  
[Fast forward because yeah you know the routine]  
  
in Farmer Maggots crop... "CARROTS!" Merry, Pippin and Nadi said as they saw the carrots then they started gathering the carrots then they heard Farmer Maggot and his mutant dogs then they started to run  
  
[Fast forward once again to Bree]  
  
"Excuse me" Frodo asked "Oh hello little masters and miss if you'd like we have little hobbit sized rooms for you and elf sized rooms for the lass" Mr. Butterbur said "We are looking for Gandalf have you seen him?" Frodo cut in "Gandalf? That fool of a wizard as the other hobbit lass said? Haven't seen him in six months..." Mr. Butterbur replied "What do we do now?" Sam asked "And who's the hobbit lass?" Pippin asked "I have a very good idea who would say it..." Nadi told them "Excuse me Mr. Butterbur, may I ask where is the hobbit lass?" Nadi asked Mr. Butterbur "She's singing at the top of the table over there, she's been here for about three days already" he told Nadi then she went to the table. "Jessie?!" Nadi pulled her of the table. "Jessie you are acting like a fucking MARY SUE!" Nadi told her then "You call this Mary Sueish?" she asked then got on the table once more then she danced while singing "Go Jessie it's your birthday! Shake your booty now!!! HEY! HEY!"  
  
TBC  
  
======  
  
Nienna: OK that's the end of our unusually short chapter!  
  
Uruviel: WTF?! It was three pages long with more than 2 000 words you old fart...  
  
Nienna: I'm not old and definitely not a fart! You're just jealous that I came up with the plot and you didn't!  
  
Uruviel: Oh whatever...but no one can do this you old FART! Ü mwhahahaaahahaa!!! Ü  
  
Nienna: FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT THE OLD FART GANDY THE FOOL OF A GANDALF OR WIZARD OR ISTARI IS!!!  
  
Uruviel: old fart, old, fart, Nienna is an old fart! old fart, old fart, Nienna is an old fart!  
  
Nienna: Shall I spill this to the world?  
  
[Nienna shows piece of paper and Uruviel's eyes turn big]  
  
Uruviel: You wouldn't dare...unless you want me to show this...ü  
  
[Uruviel holds up a piece of paper and Nienna's eyes grow big]  
  
Nienna: Fine I'm an old fart and you're the old coot  
  
Uruviel: Fine whatever you old fart  
  
Nienna: Fine just tell the reviewers to review you old coot  
  
Uruviel: PLEASE R/R! 


	2. The Song Chapter

Disclaimer: We don't own anything and we only own the plot, nicknames, the randomness and ourselves you see in the story!  
  
Nienna: Hello!  
  
Uruviel: We're back!  
  
Nienna: Another chapter!  
  
Uruviel: And there will be loads of singing from Nadi and Jessie!  
  
Nienna: So if you find the songs familiar  
  
Uruviel: THAT MEANS WE DON'T OWN THEM!  
  
Nienna: OK on with the story  
  
========  
  
How the heck did we end up HERE?  
  
Chapter 2: The Song Chapter  
  
"I'm real! Hey baby can't you see! You're drivin' me crazy! But there is one thing on my mind! Be with me all the time!" Nadi sang 'I'm Real' by J.Lo and she danced with it and Jessie would either but in and dance and sing another song or sing with her.  
  
Jessie climbed up the table and brought up a random guy and said "HEY THIS GUY'S GONNA SING FOR YOU GUYS NOW!" she told everyone then they all cheered and the random guy just had happened to be Aragorn [a.k.a. Strider, King Elessar, Ranger from the North, son of Arathorn...]  
  
Jessie pulled Nadi off the table and asked her "What are you doing here?" "Well I'm here with Frodo-"Nadi said but Jessie butted in "Frodo? You got Frodo all for me? Thank you! Is Merry with him?" Jessie asked Nadi "Yes but- "Nadi tried to say but Jessie just stormed off looking for Frodo [and Merry!]  
  
Nadi went back to the table but alas, Jessie was now on the table telling them who she'd like to give them toe hobbits and the Frodo, Merry and the Pippin didn't look too well... WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY HAPPY BECAUSE JESSIE WAS ON THE FREAKING TABLE??!!  
  
"OK Pippin, I'll give you to Shannon and you Merry I'll give you to Lily and Frodo... Who shall I give him to?" she kept on asking herself, "Hello!" Nadi butted in "Hi Nadi!" Jessie replied "Nadi? I thought-"Sam asked but Nadi clapped on his mouth and she sat down then she looked at the three very poor hobbits then asked Jessie "What the fuck did you do to the fucking hobbits?!" "I dunno when I got here they looked that way so I think that their faces got stuck that way" Jessie replied "what the fuck are you fucking saying?" everyone was looking at Nadi for cursing and curiosity but she kept asking questions and cursing and Jessie answered with questions or with very, very random and weird answers that they didn't notice the Aragorn that had a pink dress, a flower hat with a rubber ducky on it who took Frodo as a hostage "help!" Frodo shouted then Jessie heard Frodo and rushed to Aragorn and kicked him in the groin and snatched the Frodo and the ducky and ran outside followed by Nadi, Sam, Merry, Pippin and Bill the Pony! [Nienna: Did I tell you I like ponies?] [Uruviel: OFW...]  
  
Jessie got her pony, Legolasiel's pony actually and the rest commandeered horses and ponies! But Sam rode Bill [Nienna: THE PONY!] [Uruviel: ...what the fuck is wrong with my co. writer?ü] "We ride...we ride... we ride to ROVENDELL" Jessie shouted "Don't you mean Rivendell?" Merry asked "I'm hungry..." Pippin muttered. "we just ate you little—"Nadi said before Jessie covered her mouth "Can we go now PLEASE?" Sam asked then Nadi started singing to herself "can I go now..." she sang to the words of Jennifer Love Hewitt "You really want to see the elves don't you?" Jessie asked Sam and he nodded "But we have an elf right here!" she told him pointing to Nadi "She's a no good excuse for an elf! She can't even speak the language!" Sam told her "Mogon le... (I hate you)" Jessie muttered to Sam "OH NO A HOBBIT THAT SPEAKS ELVISH!" Pippin shouted "THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD'S GOING TO END!" Merry shouted Aragorn was getting pissed off(literally) "SHUT UP!!!" he shouted at them then the 5 hobbits and elf screamed then galloped their way to Rivendell leaving Aragorn horseless [Nienna: I am soooooooo evil!]  
  
When they reached Rivendell "I want green eggs and Ham!" Jessie shouted the 4 hobbits stared at her Nadi was no where to be seen the five hobbits took no notice and went inside with Jessie chanting green eggs and ham... Nadi was looking around for Legolasiel and they were in good timing because Legolasiel was looking for his pony and went to rest in Rovendell [Nienna: If it's the weird names it's me] [Uruviel: If it's not the weird names it's me]  
  
Soon Nadi found a group of elves singing a very kooky song so she barged in and said "That is a very, very weird song and this is a very good one!" she started singing Mary had a little lamb then switched to Twinkle twinkle little star  
  
Soon after chanting the hobbits were playing a game of charade and Jessie kept humming Everytime by Britney  
  
"what's the title of that song?" Frodo asked "Everytime" Jessie replied "Can you sing it for us?" Pippin asked as he walked to Jessie and sat down and they didn't even notice poor Merry plop on the ground because Pippin was helping him become a replica of a wind mill then he said "I'm OK!" as Jessie started singing  
  
the elves stared at her then Nadi noticed that one of them was..."Legolas!" she screamed and ran to him and grabbed him and ran away with him all around Rivendell. Then Nadi noticed that he wasn't Legolas "WTF? Who the hell are you?" she asked the elf. The elf stared at her blankly. "don't tell me, you're a mute...' she said turning away "wait what would a mute elf do in a room where they chant?" she asked "I dunno" the elf replied "so you aren't mute...what's your name?" she asked "I'm Elrohir. Who are you?" he asked "I'm Uruviel can you be my tutor?" she asked "huh why?" Elrohir asked "I don't know how to speak...elvish!" she said bursting into tears "Okay" he replied "Really?" Nadi asked wiping a tear on her cheek. Elrohir just smiled at her "You have to catch me first!" he said then ran away, Nadi ran as fast as she could then she caught up with him, or she thought it was him "Elrohir you got to teach me!" she panted "I'm not Elrohir!" the elf said "You're Elladan, yeah right..." she told him "Yeah I am" Elladan told her "Oh sorry..." Nadi told him then she ran off to find Elrohir "hehehe" Elrohir said and ran away, he pretended to be Elladan...  
  
Nadi finally found Elrohir "ELROHIR" she shouted then she ran to Elrohir. "you have to tutor me Elrohir, I caught you." She panted. The elf looked at her "I'm not Elrohir." He said. "ya right Elrohir I bumped into Elladan a little while ago so I know who you are..." she said triumphantly as she grabbed the REAL Elladan who was confused  
  
"OK again!" Jessie shouted at the hobbits and they all sang Jet's Are you gonna be my girl?  
  
TBC  
  
=========  
  
Nienna: We'll end up here OK  
  
Uruviel: And we are going to answer some reviews old fart!  
  
Nienna: Old coot  
  
Uruviel & Nienna: Whatever...  
  
Review Answers:  
  
DreaminofLorien:  
  
Uruviel: I like your penname! I love Lorien!  
  
Nienna: AND I LIKE YOU! Thanks for reading!  
  
southerngirl4615:  
  
Nienna: YIPEE YOU REVEWED! Preciousssssssss...  
  
Uruviel: Thanks for reviewing (whispering to SG) If you ever find out how to make her normal tell me...ü  
  
Nienna: OMG!  
  
Uruviel: What?  
  
Nienna: YOU REMOVED THE FUCKING INTERNET!  
  
Uruviel: Opps...  
  
Nienna: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
[Please cover your ears because this crying thing will take her 6 hours to recover] 


	3. Randomness 101

**Disclaimer:** REALITY CHECK! We can't dig up Tolkien's grave and retrieve the deeds to LoTr! [**Readers: o.O**] Well anyway, WE OWN NADA! NOTHING!  
  
**Uruviel:** Now please strap on your seatbelts for one hell of an insane chapter!  
  
**Nienna:** [**o.O**] What is up with you dude?  
  
**Uruviel:** Excuse moi mademoiselle, I need to type the fucking story!  
  
**Nienna:** keep it cool man...Yo' dudes like forgive Uruviel for like acting weird like...  
  
**Readers:** What the...?  
  
**Uruviel and Nienna:** SO ON WITH OUR STORY!!!  
  
**Readers:** Whatever...  
  
=======  
  
**How the heck did we end up HERE?**  
  
**Chapter 3:** _Randomness 101!  
_  
(**sub title: Can a muse talk to the authoress? o.O**)  
  
"OK TheCheeseturkey doesn't own you so remember that but she does own the plot that made this story" Jessie told the elves and hobbits and dwarves listening to her tell the story 'The Day School got TwIsTeD' by TheCheeseTurkey and whenever Gimli's name was mentioned, Gimli would tell his father, Gloin this "Look dad! I'm in a story!"  
  
Elladan looked at Nadi that was forcing him to teach her elvish. "I'm so going to kill Elrohir for this..." he thought. Then Elrohir came naming towards them. Elladan took a whole hour telling Nadi that he WASN'T Elrohir and for once Nadi believed him. "Elrohir!" Nadi said Elrohir stared at her. "Busted...!" Elladan said to Elrohir happily.  
  
Jessie was telling them about TheCheeseTurkey then suddenly a balloon popped out of no where and Jessie grabbed it then popped it and Elrond came running into the room, "OK just like we practiced we all go to the emergency exit and the bomb's fire will spread... soon?" he said then Jessie went to him and got his hair and pulled it and looked for her handy dandy Agent Smith glasses and dundundun... Lord Elrond was Agent Smith! So Jessie got her mini walkie-talkie and put the earphone in her ear, "CODE RED! CODE RED! AGENT SMITH IS IN THE BUILDING!" she said into it then Nadi came cart wheeling to the door and they both got into their fighting stances then from above Neo came making a whole in the ceiling "So Mr. Anderson... You have new recruits... Well I must be getting out now..." Smith said but Nadi blocked his way out then he tried to go to Jessie's way but the elves and hobbits had their guns out then Smith looked up and he smiled then he flew up but Neo kicked him... in slow motion! "You can't escape this time..." Neo said through gritted teeth then Smith punched Nadi in the stomach then Jessie kicked his hand away then she tried to shoot him but he dodged it then she flipped back to where she was before then he tried shooting at her, the elves and hobbits ran to the sides but Jessie dodged them all then Nadi kicked Smith at his back then Smith fell down and Neo got him and a swirl of wind came, IT WAS A RED TORNADO! Then it sucked Neo and Smith inside it and Smith screamed "I'LL BE BACK!"  
  
"Glad that's over..." Jessie said "Hey I didn't know you could do those stunts..." Nadi told her "Neither did I" Jessie told her and both of them laughed. "So...how did you learn to cart wheel?" Jessie asked "Dunno..." Nadi said. Then Arwen came then asked, "Where's Ada?" then there was a growl from the elves and a golden haired one stomped out of the crowd "Hi Glory!" Arwen said happily "Where is my horse?" Glorifondiel asked "um..." Arwen stammered then Glory tackled her then Nadi and Jessie jumped then looked at Arwen after Glory stood up then looked at her unconscious body and said "Ohhh..."  
  
"Wow...you really KNOCKED her OUT!" Nadi said as Nadi and Jessie started to laugh hysterically. Glory smiled, pleased with himself. "Hey where is Lord Elrond?" Glorifondiel asked them. Just then Arwen woke up. "ADA!!!" She screamed then she saw Glorifondiel "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Arwen said as she started to chase Glorifondiel. "AAK!" Glorifondiel shouted and ran away with Arwen running after him. Jessie and Nadi looked at each other with confused eyes. Then Elrond came falling from the ceiling. Nadi moved away then Jessie cart wheeled away. "OH PHULEAZE!!!" Nadi muttered "GOD, MS. AUTHOR WHY THE HELL DOES SHE CART WHEEL?!" Nadi shouts to the authors "WHAT THE...?", "What the hell? Uruviel who the hell are you talking to?" Nienna asks Uruviel. "Uhh...No one!" Uruviel says to Nienna. "Just shut up and I'll make you do something cool later...Do you want to kiss Legolas? Or maybe Elrohir? what do you want? Just leave me to write the story..." Uruviel said to Nadi. "Whatever...sure... I like Legolas more...but make me learn how to speak elvish! Then I'll leave!" Nadi said to Uruviel "Okay sheesh!" Uruviel said "Uruviel! The making is about to start!" Nienna shouted. Uruviel scowled. "Okay peeps, on with our story..."  
  
"_May it be An evening star Shines down Upon you May it be When darkness falls Your heart Will be true You walk along a road Oh how far you are from home_" Nadi sang "_Mornië utúlië [Quenya: 'Darkness has come'] Believe and you Will find your way Mornië alantië [Quenya: 'Darkness has fallen'] A promise lives Within you now_" Jessie sang "_May it be The shadow's call Will fly away May it be A journey on To light the day_." Nadi sang "_Mornië utúlië [Quenya: 'Darkness has come'] Believe and you Will find your way Mornië alantië [Quenya: 'Darkness has fallen'] A promise lives Within you now A promise lives Within you now_..." Jessie sang. "CAN YOU STOP SINGING THAT SONG?!" One elf said "YA!PIPE DOWN!ELVES ARE TRIYING TO SLEEP HERE!" another elf said "SLEEP?!" Jessie shouted back. "YES!SLEEPING!" the two elves that shouted "SLEEPING?!SLEEPING IS FOR OLD FARTS!" Nadi shouted "YA SLEEPING IS FOR OLD COOTS!" Jessie added. Then they went outside then Jessie saw a..."MONKEY!!!" Jessie screamed and ran after it. Nadi was left in the dark then someone/something touched her. Then Nadi started to scream. "Shh...Shh...will you keep quiet? I'm trying to get back at someone..." The person told her but Nadi kept on screaming madly like a freaking maniac, then Legolas said, wait no... PLEADED, "Will you please SHUT UP?" but Nadi was about to yell for Jessie then Legolasiel did something that no one ever, ever expected... HE KISSED NADI! [**Nadi: YAY!**] [**Uruviel&Nienna: AAAAAAAAH! How'd you get here?**] [**Nadi: Dunno... (disappears back into the story)**] [**Uruviel&Nienna: o.O**] But the excitement ended when Jessie saw the two then she screamed "I'M GONNA TELL THE WHOLE WORLD!" while pointing at Legolasiel then his eyes grew big and Jessie started running and Legoboy followed her What happened to Nadi? We dunno... Anyway, Jessie ran through the garden of pineapples, through the land of flying pigs and cows, through the Shire [**Uruviel: o.?**] [**Nienna: =D**] and through the land of a thousand hoppable islands [**Uruviel: o.? WTF?**] [**Nienna: =D**] until Jessie used her magical monkey named Jack, to bite Legolas's ear then she ran as fast as she can to the land of Oz and followed the yellow brick road while singing 'Yellow Brickroader' by Michelle Branch and quoting Cameron Diaz saying "I'm following the yellow brick road, I'm following the yellow brick road, I'm following, I'm following, I'm following the yellow brick road" then she met a magic time traveling elf that happened to be Elladan and he transported her and himself to the stone age and she hid behind a big cave man and Legolas missed her then she transported to the time Elijah Wood was 11 and she swooned over him, took pictures, interviewed him and got autographs because he was so cute until Elladan told her that they have to go back to Rivendell and eat pie then she transported back to the real world and found DreaminofLorien's house and gave her Elladan and then Elladan fell in love with DreaminofLorien so he transported only Jessie back and Elladan lived happily ever after with DreaminofLorien while Legolas was asking Elijah where Jessie went Everyone ate pie when Jessie got back and Nadi ate pie too!!! [**Uruviel: WTF? O.? This story's getting weird! Gimmie that keyboard! (grabs keyboard)**] [**Nienna: But it's RANDOM! (grabs mouse and clicks madly)**] [**Uruviel: STOP IT! (hits Nienna)**] [**Elves: CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!**] [**Uruviel&Nienna: HOW'D YOU GET HERE?!**] [**Elves: Dunno... (disappears back into the story)**] [**Uruviel&Nienna: o.O**] Jessie looked at Nadi. Then Nadi started to chase Jessie "YOU LITTLE ELF STEALER!YOU STOLE MY ELF!AND HE WAS ALREADY KISSING ME!!!!!!!!! roar..." Nadi shouted. Jessie gasped in her steps. "I'M NOT A ELF FANCIER!I'M A HOBBIT FANCIER!!!" She shouted to Nadi and the chase was on... [**Nadi&Legolas: How come a hobbit's faster than us?**] [**Jessie: I am? I didn't notice!**] [**Legolas&Nadi: -.-**] [**Uruviel: Yeah Ninny!**] [**Nienna: Wha? (she is busy eating her banana given to her by a monkey to even notice them)**] [**Uruviel&Nadi&Legolas: -.-**] [**Jessie&Nienna: =D BANANA!!!**] [Nienna: I WANT PIE!] [**Nadi: hey Uruviel...what the fuck is wrong with your fucking co. author?**] [**Uruviel: I don't know...did you know I changed my pen name to: a- pirated-elf?**] [**Nadi: What the fuck? That's out of the fucking subject...!**] [**Uruviel: sorry! sheesh you are SO OA!**] [**Nadi: Oh don't talk to me about OA!**] [**Legolas: anyway...back to the story!**] [**Uruviel: Nienna is like to busy annoying her sisters friends...so the following plots are mine!**] [**Nienna: Hey why are you in a bad mood?**] [**Uruviel: Because you made me forget the fucking plot!**] Nadi finally caught Jessie "MWAHAHAHA! NOW GIMMIE BACK MY ELF!" Nadi Shouted. Then Legolas came running "Jessie! You stole Legolas from me WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Nadi screamed "She didn't steal me! If I was stolen I wouldn't be here!" Legolas said then Nadi glomped on Legolas and said "OOOOH IMISSED YOU SO MUCH MY LITTLE ITTY BITTY PRINCE OF MIRKWOOD!" Then Legolas said "I MISSED YOU TOO MY ITTY BITTY—""Wait? Why are you like acting nice to me?" Nadi asked Legolas. "I don't know...but I do know I LOOOOVE YOU!" Legolas replied. Then they went to eat supper with Jessie. Which by the way, Nadi glared at. Then Legolas sat across Nadi in a separated table "I SUDDENLY WANT TO KILL MYSELF..." Nadi half shouted half said in the hall. All the elves and hobbits looked at her. "WITH A FORK!" Nadi added half shouting and half saying again. Legolas looked at her "Aww...why aren't you eating my itty bitty looove bug?" Legolas asked her. Nadi was getting a bit ma and (unusually) happy about this [**Uruviel: Hmm...I wonder if Nadi likes this...**] [**Nadi: WTF URUVIEL! I WANT ROMANCE!NOT NAMES AND CRAP!NOW I HAVE SPECIFIC DEMANDS...**] [**Uruviel: But he does love you doesn't he?**] [**Nadi: Crap Uruviel. I want ROMANCE!!!**] [**Uruviel: meep! Okay...but don't hurt me! Poor me! I helps you! Be nice to poor author!( Crawls before Nadi)**] [**Nadi: Whoa...OA much...**] [**Uruviel: now if you do hurt me...**] [**Nadi: OKAY deal!**] [**Uruviel: Too bad that will be in the next chapter...**] [**Nadi: WTF?**] Nadi pushed the fork towards her chest then fell down then everyone went to look at her gasping "I can't believe you fell for that!" she laughed

TBC 

=========

**Nienna:** OK that's it for now!

**Uruviel:** Tell us if it's random or not!

**Nienna:** In short review us!!!

**Uruviel:** And we'll see you next time!

**Pippin:** (pops out of no where) Why are you talking like hosts from AFV?

**Nienna:** I dunno...

**Pippin:** Oh... OK! I'm going to go to Merry... (walks away)

**Nienna:** Merry? MERRY?! I'M COMMING!

**Uruviel:** In case you haven't noticed, she created a sudden interest in Merry and Pippin, in short she's a HOBBIT FANCIER!

**Nienna:** [voice in the distance] Merry? Can I marry you?

**Uruviel:** o.O

**Nienna:** [voice in the distance] HEY FRODO CAN I MARRY YOU?!

**Merry&Frodo:** [voice in the distance] MAKE UP YOUR BLODDY MIND WOMAN!

**Nienna:** [screams] OKIE DOKEE! I'LL MARRY THE BOTH OF YOU!

**Uruviel:** o.O Well I got to go and try to convince Nienna that she can't marry 2 people! See You! (runs to Nienna, Frodo, Merry and Pippin)

**Review Answers:**

_southerngirl4615:_

**Uruviel:** uh oh...

**Nienna:** **HYPER! HYPER! HYPER! HYPER! HYPER! HYPER!**

**Uruviel:** Oh since she is strangely normal I want to find out how to make her... abnormal...

**Nienna:** [singing at the top of her lungs] **AND EVERYTIME I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS I SEE YOUR FACE...**

_DreaminofLorien:_

**Nienna:** I gave Elladan to you and **HE'S A MAGIC TIME TRAVELLING ELF! **

**Uruviel:** **HAVE FUN! **

_Confused Person:_

**Nienna:** **GREAT PEN NAME! THANKIES FOR REVIEWING! HAVE CHEESE! **(gives CP cheese)

**Uruviel:** o.O

=========

**Nienna:** Oh yeah remember last night? We watched Harry Potter for the 2nd time and we annoyed the people around us!

**Uruviel:** We threw popcorn at the two people in front of us in the scene where it was snowing and whispered 'it's snowing' then we kept on whispering and we laughed real loud in the spider making Ron tap dance part

**Nienna:** And I chocked on my Iced Tea when Professor Trawnley made Harry and I jump and my heart beated really fast... Then we went to the arcade! AND I BEAT RUVIE IN EVERYTHING!!!

**Uruviel:** =(

**Nienna:** WELL BYE!


	4. The Attack of the Clones

**Disclaimer:** _We own nada... As we have said before, if you don't believe us we will sic one of Tolkien's wargs on you!  
  
_**Uruviel:** Hey...Uh I'm sorry if I'm not as random as before...  
  
**Nienna:** WHY NOT?!  
  
**Uruviel:** I...Am....to....concentrated....on....my...other...story...but...my...stupid...computer...wont...uploa d....Nienna: Wow...that's a BIG problem...  
  
**Nadi:** NOW ON WITH THE FUCKING STORY!  
  
**Uruviel:** MEEP! IT'S THE GIRL IN MY NIGHTMARE!  
  
**Nienna:** o.O  
  
**Nadi:** MWAHAHAHA! IF YOU DON'TCONTINUE THE STORY I'LL KILL YOU! MWAHAHA!  
  
**Uruviel:** With a fork?  
  
**Nadi:** Maybe...  
  
**Uruviel:** Meep!  
  
**Nienna:** -.- stop your nancing and pancing please and Nadi stop screaming and shouting I'm trying to write the story here... -.-  
  
**Nadi:** WHO INCLUDED YOU IN THE STORY?!  
  
**Nienna:** I'm the almighty author of randomness and freaky plots in this story so I have the right to be in it!  
  
**Uruviel:** Wow...you two really freak me out...  
  
**Nienna&Nadi:** [sarcastically] Really? We haven't noticed! -.-  
  
**Uruviel to the readers:** WHILE THEY'RE SHOUTING AND CRAP...I'LL CONTINUE!

====

**How the heck did we end up HERE?**

**Chapter 4:** **The Attack of the Clones  
**  
All the elves glared/scowled at her even Legolas. She smiled sweetly and everyone went back to his or her food. Legolas helped her up and brought her to a room.  
  
Jessie watched as the two elves went away and turned to... "FRODO!" She screamed and cuddled Frodo. Frodo returned the hug. Then Merry lunged on Frodo then they started boxing. Then, Sam, lunged on Merry. Then Pippin, for no reason lunged on Sam. After the elves broke them up, the hobbits were sent to different corners of the hall. Jessie kept on going around to the three hobbits cuddling them. The elves made Sam do all the gardening.  
  
When Nadi and Legolas reached the room, he pushed her to the bed. And sat beside her. Then he brushed a few strands of hair from her face. Nadi started to blush. Then Nienna went flying by... literally... "What the...?" Legolas and Nadi said together. Then Legolas kissed Nadi... Then Uruviel went walking by playing a violin... that did it. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING AUTHORESSES HERE?!" Nadi shouted. Legolas pulled her down and kissed her again. "I need you Nadi for my life to be complete." Legolas whispered in Nadi's ear. He licked the delicate part of her ear. She shuddered slightly then...  
  
Finally the hobbits were out of the hall. By then Jessie made a daily schedule. The four hobbits were huddled together[**notice Sam still is gardening**] "Okay at breakfast, I will spend with Merry" Jessie announced Merry smiled happily. "2nd breakfast, with Pippin" Pippin was grinning ear to ear. "And Elevensies, with Frodo" Frodo smiled in triumph. "And the 'cycle' goes on." Jessie said lastly.  
  
"Legolas..." Nadi said "Hmm?" Legolas asked as he paused from kissing her. [**Nadi: URUVIEL!**] [**Uruviel: Uh oh...**] [**Nadi: Finally, you did something right**] [**Uruviel: phew...**] [**Nadi: Now I shall not haunt your dreams!**] [**Uruviel: YOU WERE DOING THAT?!**] [**Nadi: No...it was Haldir!**] [**Uruviel: whatever...I mean OFW...so what do you want to happen next?**] [**Nadi: I dunno...you're the author.**] [**Uruviel: can Will Turner come?**] [**Nadi: Uh...okay... it would work too if you killed Elizabitch...he he**] [**Uruviel: I prefer Will. And anyway, Nienna will do that.**] **[Nadi: Okay.**] [**Nienna: So Uruviel what do you think about your new hair style?**] [**Uruviel: uh...do you know how to braid?**] [**Nienna: Duh!**] [**Uruviel: So you don't...**] [**Nienna: I DO!**] [**Uruviel: oh... OK...**]  
  
"OK do you think you're going to fa-"Nadi asked but a blinding light shone and a figure, no wait three figures stood before them "Something tells me we're not home..." a voice said then the light went out and Will Turner, Jack Sparrow [**Captain Jack Sparrow: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!**] [**Nienna: Fine...**] Captain Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann was there "Oooo... Look it's the bitch from hell..." Nadi said "Excuse me?" Elizabitch asked "Oh... nothing" Nadi replied and Legolas and Jack [**Captain Jack: CAPTAIN JACK! CAPTAIN!**] Captain Jack smirked "Where are we?" Will asked sword drawn "Will don't do anything stupid..." Jack and the bitch said but Will didn't put down his sword "Well judging by the looks of these luvbugs and 'er sense o humor they're a really, really nice couple" Jack [**Will, Jack and Elizabitch: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!**] **[Nienna: FINE PEOPLE!**] Captain Jack said in a-matter-of-factly voice and Nadi and Legolas smirked then Will put down his sword then a monkey stormed into the room and Jessie and the hobbits were following "JACK!" Jessie screamed "Aye?" CAPTAIN Jack asked "No not you Captain Jack, we named the monkey Jack" Jessie said "Rings a bell..." Captain Jack muttered "Hey look it's Captain Jack Sparrow! And Will! And- OMG!" Jessie gasped when she saw Elizabitch and she got a knife then threw it at her then it hit her and she vanished in a puff of yellow smoke "YAY!" Nadi and Jessie screamed then appeared  
  
Everyone else in the room: o.O  
  
Will started to cry "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ELIZABETH!" "Don't worry she was a bitch anyway..." Captain Jack, Nadi and Jessie said and Will sniffed then "Who are you?" Pippin asked Captain Jack "Why, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow..." he replied "Wow... rings a bell..." Jessie muttered then her eyes grew wide "CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW??!! THE ONE AND ONLY??!!" Jessie asked "Aye, savvy?" Captain Jack winked "WOOT" Jessie screamed then the French guy appeared again then pointed at Jessie and in a puff of purple smoke she became taller, and piratety but still kept the hair color and eye color then the French guy vanished and the hobbits gasped and they cried, "Cool!" Jessie shouted then everyone just stared at her, even the crying hobbits. Then "ELIZABITCH IS GONE!WOHOOO!" Nadi shouted then she noticed Will and Legolas were shouting a each other. "SHE IS MINE!" Legolas shouted "NO!SHE IS MINE!" Will shouted "NO!I SAW HER FIRST!" Legolas shouted. Nadi went between them. They became quiet. "Schedule peeps..." Nadi said then after they thought for a few moments "SHE'S MINE 24/7!" Will shouted "NO I SAW HER FIRST! SHE'S MINE!" Legolas said and they continued and Nadi just sighed, they didn't notice though Jessie telling Captain Jack [**Jack: You can call me Jack now...**] [**Nienna: MAKE UP YOUR BLOODY MIND!**] Jack and the hobbits the time she was running from Legolas "This story's even better than the time they made me their chief..." Jack mumbled. Then Jessie stopped then the 5 looked at poor Nadi then Jessie stood up and got Nadi's arm then Will and Legolas got her other arm then Jack got her other arm then pulled then the hobbits got her foot, [**Nienna: little did the Will and Legolas know that Shire-folk had amazing strength while in fury...**] [**Uruviel: o.O**] then they all tugged then Nadi got ripped in half then the two ripped parts made other halves and she became two! "YAY!" Will and Legolas screamed then they got their own Nadi's "Wait we cannot have two Nadi's running about! We must put her in the one-o-mater!" Jessie screamed "Why couldn't we just rip Jessie into 4?" Frodo asked Merry and Pippin and Jack  
  
Little did they know the whole Rivendell was listening outside their door and Aragorn asked himself "Why couldn't I have done that with Elladan and Elrohir?" and the elves nodded then Jessie went out and the elves and Aragorn went to different places acting natural and Jessie, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Jack, Nadi 1, Nadi 2, Will and Legolas were looking at them then Aragorn saw Legolas and Will and Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 then screamed "IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE CLONES!!!" and he and the elves ran away. Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 and Will and Legolas stared at each other. "I understand Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 but you and me?" Will said "Yes. For once I agree with you." Legolas said then suddenly thing 1 and chocolate thunda[**thing 2**] appeared and joined them.  
  
Everyone: o.O  
  
"HEY YOU'RE FROM THE CAT IN THE HAT!" Jessie Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 screamed. Then Will grabbed Nadi 2 and kissed her. Then Legolas did the same. Then Jessie got Jack and kissed him. Soon she was kissing the hobbits. [**Uruviel&Nienna: WTF? We didn't write that!**] [**Nadi&Jessie: ehehehe...**] [**Uruviel&Nienna: BAD MUSES BAD!!! YOU CAN WRITE BUT NO MORE KISSING!**] Then they ate pie...then they went to the one-o-mater then made Nadi whole again. "WHY?!WHY OH WHY?!" Legolas and Will said sadly. When Nadi came out the things disappeared. Jessie ran to her and hugged her "You're whole again!" She screamed. Then she saw Will and Legolas crying  
  
Everyone except Legolas and Will even the readers: They can cry? O.O  
  
[**Nienna: We own nothing we own nothing we own nothing at all...**] [**Uruviel: o.? what the...?**] [**Uruviel: Okay muses...the story is getting pathetic so we'll be taking over now...**] [**Nadi: NEVER!**] [**Jessie: NOT EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS!**] [Uruviel: FINE!(grabs diskette and turns on laptop.)] [**Nadi&Jessie: NOOOOOOOO!!!**][**Nienna: Damn muses...**]  
  
"Stop crying! sheesh...its as if I don't love both of you?" Nadi said as she gave Will and Legolas some tissue. "sob but he will steal you!!!" Legolas said as he pointed an accusing finger at Will. "But Legolas was kissing you already!" Will sobbed as he got a tissue. By then everyone was asleep. "Why is no one here?" Nadi asked. "Hey! Everyone's asleep!" Nadi groaned. "Uh...I guess you have to stay together in your room Legolas..." Nadi said as she headed for her room. Legolas and Will started to run after her the when they reached her she scowled. "What now? If your going to start fighting again...jeez..." Nadi said as she started to trudge to the door. "Does he really have to sleep in mine?" Legolas asked sadly "Yes and besides...you two look alike." Nadi said as she slammed the room to her door. The two groaned. "Look, if we want her to love us, we should work together." Legolas said as he extended a hand to Will. "Fine." Will said as he shook Legolas' hand.  
  
The next day...  
  
Jessie went to the hall. She saw Jack drinking rum. Legolas, Will, Aragorn and Faramir were drinking beer and laughing. Frodo, Pippin and Merry were calling Jessie to sit with them and Will and Legolas were devising a plot to get Nadi to fall for them  
  
**TBC**  
  
======  
  
**Nienna:** Oh the Yellow Brickroader song is mine! I NCREATED THE SONG! I was inspired by Michelle Branch  
  
**Uruviel:** Yeah right...  
  
**Nienna:** IT'S TRUE!!!  
  
**Uruviel:** Fine anyway please R/R!


End file.
